Serious talk

James came downstairs to ask that we have a serious talk. he started by saying he wasn't happy because I was not allowing him to quit his job. He said he had thought of killing himself again and wanted to know why his offer of quitting and using his pension and 401K was not good enough to quit. He says if he quit now, he would only use that money to pay off his car and nothing would go towards the house or myself. I still advised him to quit for his sanity and that I didn't need anything from him. I tried to say a couple of things but he interrupted and said, "let me talk bc I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time- I'm not happy and I don;t think you love me anymore. I'm still in love with you but I don't feel it from you, but it's ok if you feel that way" I told him I needed to get something off my chest too, so I explained how he has been verbally attacking me, verbally abusing me, locking me out of our house, blaming me for each time he feels angry-frustrated-depressed and trapped. I explained we needed to communicate better without attacking and if one gets out of line- we need a safe word. I told him, I needed him to start taking care of himself and not worry about me. Stop self medicating with alchol and pills, bc I never know what "James" I am going to encounter so I either stay way or say nothing. there is so much more that was said, but we walked away feeling better and with a plan on how to get our relationship back- open communication, not take things personal, ask for clarification, give feedback and use the safe word. safe word is TBD....more stories to come.